It was in 2014 at the age of 23 when I had the chance to travel to Israel for the first time. I was working on an archaeological dig with VCU. One evening, my friend sat down to play guitar while we all chilled. As he began to play, we started to hear a faint noise that became increasingly louder.. Our puzzled faces stared at one another, all being American we had no idea what we were hearing until the sound got so loud we could not hear each other. All of a sudden right overhead we saw the first of what would become many more rockets fired by Hamas towards the kibbutz we were staying on. However, within minutes of this, you began to feel the low vibration of the ground from jets flying towards Gaza and helicopters patrolling the skies, followed by horrendous sounding booms that shook the ground… It was at that moment I knew what was happening- a further escalation and death. I walked about 5 minutes to the other side of the kibbutz which faced southwest and you could see the faint skyline of Gaza City- it was on fire and the smell of char and burnt gasoline filled the air. I became confused and devastated. I did not know how to feel. I was in and out of a bomb shelter many sleepless nights but protected by an iron dome. Occasionally these Hamas rockets would fall in the open surrounding areas and you could feel their power, but none fell on us.
In less than an hour, my group became split politically and I felt abandoned in my confusion not knowing what was right or wrong, not feeling like there was a side but rather two strongman entities putting countless civilian lives at risk due to their petty show of political power. Those who were more left became pro-Palestinian those on the right became pro-Israeli, and I just made it my quest to understand and talk to every Israeli and Palestinian I could about what was happening. To my surprise there was little talk about sides and more talk about how people just wanted peace, we need to make peace, but there are too many peace spoilers standing in the way. I knew what was happening: the moderate pro-peace camps in both societies were silenced by the more reactive and angry two-sided folks. People were choosing their emotional reactivity over their rationality and empathy to see one another as humans. I needed to learn more so I decided to move to Israel the following year to pursue a master’s in conflict resolution and mediation at Tel Aviv University.
I was taught by Israeli and Palestinian professors and my thesis work focused on measuring the impact of peace programs in intractable conflicts more specifically Israel and the West Bank. . However, post-2014 the reality of global peace dwindled, the rise of Trump in the US and the Alt-right in Europe was booming. It felt like everyone was becoming more and more entrenched in their beliefs. During the years I studied the conflict in graduate school I flipped several times from being pro-Israel to pro-Palestine. Somedays Israel was committing apartheid-state actions, and other days they were defending themselves. Somedays I saw Hamas as freedom fighters working to liberate the Palestinian people and other days I saw them as faceless evil men who were trying to kill us Jews at any cost…
It was in this space that my dream of PEACEWITH was born. A new intentional way to practice building peace. One that required personal responsibility before blame. One that was rooted in our wisdom traditions and secular spirituality rather than divisive identity politics. But, I was exhausted so, unlike many Israelis and Palestinians I had the privilege of leaving the conflict zone. From there I worked in full-time professional jobs in NYC and prominent Richmond-based non-profits. By 2022 I was completely burnt out by the real world of petty professionalism, fear-based management structures, unrealistic expectations, and task piling on the job role. Once I moved into leadership positions I was expected to uphold these same petty and toxic practices. The final straw that pushed me to pursue my dream of starting PEACEWITH was a meeting with several nonprofits, a representative from the mayor’s office, and community members from neighborhoods that were experiencing the most gun violence here in RVA. The goal was to agree on a gun violence prevention program to be implemented here in Richmond.
The non-profits had one plan, and the mayor’s admin had another. The whole meeting was spent arguing about whose plan was better, there were no concessions made, and there was no mention of collaboration. Finally, one of the residents spoke up and said “Both are good plans, can’t you work together and get this problem solved” and it was met with excuses as to why they could not be in collaboration. In the end, it was more about the organizational ego and whose name got to be on the big win. That was it, peace for the decision makers was about winning. Peace was political therefore it could never work. Because peace is not about winning. Peace is about being. Right now in the world, our approach to peace is rooted in a winner-takes-all-all mentality. We need to end this.
That’s why I created PEACEWITH. To bring peace to individuals, organizations, and the workplace. At that moment I recognized I did not have the power to change the Israeli Palestinian conflict. But, Israelis and Palestinians did, and many many Palestinians and Israelis are working together on a daily basis striving to create peace and a shared society, and we must listen to them and let them lead the way. Further I realized I could not change the way organizations and nonprofits did business from within because this was the way business was. My mission of peace was to create a new way people could relate to it in a professional, social, and spiritual way. For many people in the US the workplace is a major spoiler of peace in our lives. And this felt like a space I had power and personal responsibility in.
And so it’s called PEACEWITH, because my goal is to assist those on a transformation to make peace with whatever it may be for them. We often perceive peace as dependent on external factors like being at the beach or in a quiet home. However, from a physics perspective, everything in the universe is made of energy, and peace is no exception. I challenge my clients to identify where they can take personal responsibility for creating the energy of peace in their lives. By recognizing our role in shaping our reality, and choosing mind over matter consciousness we can cultivate a more practical and personal approach to peace.
The first step in the PEACEWITH process is Quantum Cause, which draws heavily from concepts like pratityasamutpada “interdependence” in Buddhism and cause and effect in Kabbalah. This step involves dissecting the self and the workplace using tools like the wheel of self to understand how interdependence works. Research, such as Gallup's post-2020 findings, highlights the impact of challenging management structures and a lack of alignment between personal values and job roles. Aligning the interdependence between personal values and purpose with career endeavors becomes crucial for fostering peace and more fulfillment in our lives.
Once we grasp the importance of recognizing interdependence when experiencing conflict, the focus shifts to understanding and controlling desire. Studies like "Everyday temptations: An experience sampling study of desire, conflict, and self-control" underscore the role of desire in driving behavior. Spectrum of Desire, the second step in the PEACEWITH Process, emphasizes the need to balance desires with the common good rather than personal gain. This requires developing self-control to choose desires that lead to peace, echoing teachings from spiritual traditions like Kabbalah and Buddhism. In the same study mentioned, Psychologists discovered that individuals who practice restricting their negative desires, over time got better at it and were able to experience newfound levels of achievement.
Once we have the ability to change our desire from one that focuses on receiving for the self alone to one that focuses on receiving in order to share, we can begin acting in a way that is more harmonious with people and situations in our lives. In Kabbalah, the concept of Kavanah, or direction and intention, is crucial and Buddhism emphasizes "right intention" in the eightfold path. Further, organizations and businesses obsess over defining their core values and mission statements, which is a step towards naming the right intention, but employee follow-through is essential. The final step in the PEACEWITH process, Right Kavanah, involves taking the newly expanded consciousness from the first two steps and putting it into action. This step emphasizes mindfulness practices to build self-control and a broader perspective during conflicts. Setting goals rooted in personal values and sharing with others are key components of this step, echoing findings from The Mental Health Foundation on the positive impact of kindness on mental health. They found that more than 65% of adults feel a positive increase in their mental health when they find ways to share with others. It is this wisdom and this sharing that helps us experience peace.
Peace exists. It is here right now in this room. It is with us in every breath we take. But the ego and the external world will do everything in its power to blind you from this peace. Everyday across societies peaceful and warlike there are people making peace, collaborating, and willing to make concessions to make sure that another has. These are the voices we must lift up. These are the practices we must be willing to make in order to experience peace. Peace exists in all times and spaces the question we must ask is have we personally taken responsibility for the continued building up of and supporting of peace.
